La+vi

Lavi doesn’t want to die. More precisely, he doesn’t have a death wish. When you don’t want to die, you fear death, you try to avoid it if you can. Maybe if you have enough money, you actually freeze yourself, leaving instructions to have someone wake you up when so-and-so has invented a cure for death. Not having a death wish is you don’t try to kill yourself. You accept death if it comes, maybe you aren’t but so terrified of jumping in the way if your friend is about to be killed. But Lavi doesn’t have a death wish. He will accept death when it comes for him, but no sooner.

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Lavi knows everything about everyone in the Black Order that has ever found its way onto paper. Even though this excludes a lot, he still knows the names, faces, stats, and jobs (in detail) of everyone in the entire Black Order. All branches. He knows it all, and he’s glad no one ever asked him why he decided to learn all these things. It was more than morbid curiosity. It was because he wanted to know exactly what vanished from the world. All of it.

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Lavi loves books. Books don’t die, and if one copy is burned, another, exactly like it, can replace it. Lavi can go back and read books as often as he likes, laughing at how stupid the characters are.

‘What fool would walk down a dark hallway after hearing noises? It’s just stupid!’ he would chant while reading his favorite horror.  You see, horror books are unlike, and a perfect reflection, of life. Lavi can look at them, place people he knows into the story, then watch what happens, without having to suppress the nonexistent emotion.

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Lavi never knew his parents. That doesn’t mean they’re dead. The Bookman clan just doesn’t need any attachment. The only person Lavi needs to be ‘attached’ to is Bookman himself. And Lavi knows that Bookman grins a little whenever he calls him, ‘gramps’ or ‘panda’, because ‘the apprentice’ is the only attachment ‘the master’ is allowed to have as well.

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‘Race’ was Lavi’s first name, so that’s what he thinks his ‘real name’ is. At least in his mind, he’d never say it aloud though. He’d rather eat his hammer.

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His hammer doesn’t have a name either. It’s the only Innocence that doesn’t as far as Lavi knows, and that’s why he ‘smiles’ whenever he holds it.

The hammer’s abilities also change as they are needed. That’s something Lavi admires about his hammer.

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When Lavi first say Lenalee, he was ‘confused’. Even more when he learned how good an exorcist she was. He wasn’t the best when it came to people crying, and that was what Lenalee was doing when he first saw her—crying. He wasn’t sure how a person could break down so utterly and then rise again from the ashes and be able to fight so well. It confused him to no end.

As Lenalee grew older, she stabilized even more, rarely crying as she reached the later teen years. It struck Lavi how long she had truly been there. Held captive for three years, four or five more years to reach the teens, and then three more years to become sixteen, and the beautiful girl she was; Lavi had only been at the Order two years, and it seemed like such a long time to him.

He wondered how such a delicate little girl had survived in such a world.

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Lavi wondered how Lenalee had lived like she had for so long, but he had been seeing blood three years longer. After the third day he got use to blood. That was when he was still ‘Race’.

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Kanda was the boy every girl would love. Tall, dark, handsome, that was Kanda Yuu. The thing was that temper he had. Lavi found it amusing to invoke the older (by two months, four days, seven hours, twenty-four minutes and five seconds) boy’s temper. But Kanda had discovered things about Lavi that the bookman’s apprentice didn’t want anyone to find out about, but Lavi knew about Kanda too. Kanda knew, and so they kept their mouth’s shut about each other’s secrets. That was the root of their ‘friendship’, knowing neither of them would betray the other.

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Lavi first met Allen when the boy was in one of his worst states. Lavi didn’t understand why he would make such a big deal over an eye. After all, Lavi had made it without using his right eye, and Allen’s eye was going to grow back, what was so horrible about losing an eye?

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Lavi knew Allen was ‘different’ from the very beginning. Allen was cursed because he had made his foster father into an Akuma, Allen had told him openly. Lavi was happy to not know about mourning; if he had mourned for any of the people he had met before, than the Earl would’ve gotten him, but it was more of the idea of being so weak that he accepted help that disturbed him, not the eternal suffering. The latter was already happening, but people were just too stupid to realize it.

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Lavi only called Allen ‘moyashi’ that first time because he wanted to know how he would react to it. It was amazing too, though a little unexpected. Lavi gave people many nicknames, maybe once he reached 49, he would stop? Lavi didn’t really see the importance of a name, though to Allen, his name seemed very important.

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Lavi hadn’t thought of Allen as anything more than fun to tease. Nothing more than another friend, just like Kanda and Lenalee. Then he had been sent by Lenalee and Bookman to go find him when he had gone missing. Lavi would never forget the night he saw Allen’s ability for the first time, not that he ever forgot anything.

The Apprentice had become even more confused. Why was Allen so attached to his eye? It couldn’t have been what he saw through it. Who could ever become attached to something so horrid, so pitiable as an Akuma? Floating, withering in agony. That was what Allen saw whenever he came across one. Lavi was amazed the boy hadn’t submitted to insanity yet. Just a little bit, Allen had gained some of Lavi’s respect.

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Krory was a child. He needed to be protected. So when he had been taken advantage of in poker, Lavi wanted to help. A small nagging surfaced. He was about to offer money in exchange for Krory’s items, but then, Allen surprised him once again by wagering his jacket. Allen showed Lavi his darker side for the first time, and Lavi was genuinely surprised. Just like with the Akuma, when Lavi had been genuinely repulsed.

Lavi had always thought himself a decent cheat at poker, but he swore to himself he’d never play against Allen Walker.

He suddenly found himself worried when he actually laughed at a small joke within his own mind that Allen being a destroyer might really relate to his cheating skills at poker. He was suddenly unsure, not of his sanity, but of his emotions.

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The exorcists and two bookmen reached China. All Lavi could think when he saw Anita was how beautiful she was. He soon realized she was also a wonderful, kind and brave woman. He knew somewhat why Cross had liked her, not that he knew he liked her at all.

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He couldn’t save him… Allen was dead; the blood was proof of it. Dead, all that was left was a card and some images Timcanpy, Allen’s golem had recorded. Dead, dead, dead, just like all the other people Lavi had known and watched their deaths. Hundreds, thousands, millions, uncountable numbers of people had died deaths, just like Allen had died a death. And yet this time, there was something that hurt. There was also something about Lenalee now. Do you know what it was that made Lavi so angry at that moment?

Allen had made Lenalee cry.

Allen had made a Bookman’s apprentice cry.

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Lavi hadn’t realized before how much those two years in the Order had effected him. Lenalee was broken, he hadn’t heard from Kanda in a month, and Allen, by the look on Wong’s face, was either dead or in critical condition.

Rage… what a funny word… it reminded Lavi of ‘cage’, and of being trapped. He was in a cage… the world needed help, and yet, he was in this metal prison called a ship. The moment he was in Edo, he promised to rip out the organ that should’ve been the Earl’s heart with his hands, tear it apart with his teeth to taste the putrid blood that kept it alive, then burn it with his most powerful seal, and toss the ashes into the sea, so they would scatter and never be found again.

Muttering Lenalee’s name, he began to yell. He hadn’t meant to say anything out loud. It was all supposed to be something he was yelling at himself. No one else was supposed to hear Lavi’s anguish.

Had Lavi been asked if he was an exorcist five seconds earlier, his only answer would’ve been ‘Hell yeah, bitch.’

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When Lavi had first seen Chomesuke, he feared the worst, but then Chomesuke had turned out to be an ally. Lenalee was alive, yes, her hair had been burned off almost completely, but she was alive. She was fucking alive

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Lavi said ‘this is hard’. Bookman would never say it, but it was hard on him too. He had seen countless people die, some screaming, some begging for mercy and some in the most pitiable ways. However, people begging for others to be happy… not to be alive… just happy… not caring that they themselves were about to die…

That was different.

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The world was ending for Lavi. One moment, everything was okay, Allen was alive, he and Kanda were fighting and threatening to shave Lavi (and somehow that made things sort of normal…). All was well until they vanished into the Ark, and one by one, they all died.

And Lavi had to fight Road…

Lavi had to become a Bookman, because Road made him.

Lavi had told Allen everything that shouldn’t have hurt the bookman’s apprentice at all.

Lavi had told everyone the truth.

A Bookman has no allies

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Lavi wouldn't let Lenalee be led away like a dog. He ran down the hallways after her, under the pretext of 'it's for the logs', and he followed Lenalee and Levirrier.

The bastard didn't even deserve to have the same letter start his name as Lenalee.

He just hoped Bookman and Allen were alright... same with everyone from the science division. The Generals, Marie and Miranda too. He saw the platform falling. Komui was on it. Grabbing a poll, he ran over to try and help him. He wasn't expecting Kanda to be there too. He wasn't expecting Allen to show up and save Lenalee at the last moment. He wasn't expecting the Crowned Clown to be used as a puppeteer. Hell, he hadn't expected Kanda to be a motivational speaker! People were strange. They could be one person one moment and the next moment, something completely different. Battle changed people. Not all battles, but this one changed Lavi.

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Allen was struggling. Kanda saw it too. Lenalee was helpless at the moment and Allen was going to break if no one did anything...

Without thinking and at the same time, Lavi and Kanda both jumped up and ran to the younger exorcist. They both grabbed the hilt of Allen's sword-arm. One handed. It would be wrong to use two hands. The hilt was strangely cold, but comforting.

“Dont give up yet...” escaped Kanda

“You're all we've got right now!”Lavi was amazed to hear himself say.

For a moment, shock took over Allen's face, then faded to peace. They pushed so hard they equaled the level four. Smoke over took their vision, but the feeling of innocence over took their minds.

Gramps Lavi thought, I don't know anymore...


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Lavi doesn't have a death wish, but he doesn't mind almost dying... as long as it's for a good cause.

Bookman will skin his apprentice alive if he can find the heart to do it.